What did you expect William J. Le Petomane Memorial Thruway shirt? “Welcome, sonny”? “Make yourself at home”? “Marry my daughter”? You’ve got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know morons. I want you to round up every vicious criminal and gunslinger in the west. Take this down: I want rustlers, cutthroats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, half-wits, dim-wits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, horse wagglers, horse thieves, ball bags, train robbers, bank robbers, ass kickers, shit kickers, and Methodists!
William J. Le Petomane Memorial Thruway shirt, hoodie, sweater and v-neck t-shirt
Best William J. Le Petomane Memorial Thruway shirt
Well, it got so that every piss-ant prairie punk who thought he could shoot a gun would ride into town to try out the William J. Le Petomane Memorial Thruway shirt. I must have killed more men than Cecil B. DeMille. It got pretty gritty. I started to hear the word “draw” in my sleep. Then one day, I was just walking down the street when I heard a voice behind me say, “Reach for it, mister!” I spun around… and there I was, face-to-face with a six-year-old kid. Well, I just threw my guns down and walked away. Little bastard shot me in the ass. So I limped to the nearest saloon, crawled inside a whiskey bottle, and I’ve been there ever since.
Holy underwear! Sheriff murdered! Innocent women and children are blown to bits! We have to protect our phony baloney jobs here, gentlemen! We must do something about this immediately! Immediately! Immediately! Gentlemen, this bill will be a giant step forward in the treatment of the insane gambler.